God Can Change Me

A few days ago, my husband had the “Oldies” station on the television. Most of those songs put me in a good mood – they’re happy songs and I can sing along. While I was putting on my make-up, I heard a melody that I wasn’t familiar with and when I listened to the words, they threw me for a loop.

I don’t remember ever hearing that song before. I can recognize the sentiment behind some of the lyrics, but there’s one line that really disturbs me. The title of the song is, “Let Me Be.” The artists were The Turtles.

One of the verses of the song says:

Don’t try to plan me or understand me
I can’t stand to be understood
I could never give in to or ever live up to
Being like you think I should
I’ve got some inner need which I’m tryin’ to heed
I can’t take hand-me-down destiny

That makes me sad. Here’s the story of someone who pushes back against the expectations of others. This is the part I can somewhat empathize with because living to please others can be a hard journey. I get wanting to be yourself. But now, look at the words of the chorus:

Let me be, let me be,
To think like I want to
Let me be, let me be
That’s all I ask of you
I am what I am and that’s all I ever can be

This is the really disturbing part of the song. To think that a person is what he/she is and that there is no hope of ever changing. That’s just not consistent with what God tells us in various Scriptures.

Consider:

2 Corinthians 3:18 – But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

2 Corinthians 5:17 – Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Philippians 1:6 – Being confident of this very thing, that He Who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Isaiah 43:19 – Behold, I will do a new thing.

Hebrews 13:20-21 - Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

I am so grateful to know that God isn’t finished with me yet. Jesus gave His life on the cross so that I don’t have to be held hostage by the thought that “I am what I am and that’s all I ever can be.” He’s working in and through me to make me more like His Son, Jesus Christ. I can change; there is great hope for my future when I walk with my Lord.

Isn’t God good?!

A Godly Heart

I’ve been thinking lately (that makes it sound like it’s not very often that I do some thinking – just lately ☺ ). Anyway, some of my recent thoughts have taken me to a verse in the Bible that I have read and heard many times. Micah 6:8 says, “He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Whenever I wonder what it is God is asking of me, as I desire to serve Him the best ways that I can, I am reminded of this Scripture. Seems too simple, doesn’t it? Surely God is expecting grand and profound deeds and words from me, because in my mind, those are the things that will make a difference in another person’s life.

I stand corrected. God is clear in Micah 6:8. It’s not the grandiose accomplishments that are viewed as “good” by God. He asks three things in this verse:

 • First is to act justly
 • To love mercy
 • And to walk humbly with my God

I’m positive that I don’t have a complete understanding of these three exhortations, but I believe they all start with an attitude of caring about others and not focusing on myself. A regular reading of Philippians 2 helps me keep perspective about Christ’s model of humility and looking out for the interests of others.

The act of looking out for the interests of others includes doing justice – protecting the innocent and watching out for those who are mistreated. In other words, I am to be a champion for those who cannot stand on their own. A co-worker recently returned from a trip to Russia where she spent time with orphans. Those children dearly needed an uplifting hand from another person. What a wonderful example my co-worker is to me of acting justly!

The second phrase is to love mercy. I found that the Hebrew word, hesed, is included there. Hesed means “loyal love” or “lovingkindness.” As God speaks to the nation of Israel in Micah 6, He wants them to show love and mercy to others. There are an abundance of opportunities for me to express caring and hope-filled love to those in my sphere of influence. Oh, that I would seize those moments! 

Finally, God wants me to walk humbly with Him, knowing that it’s not what I do or what I bring to the mix but rather affirming that God is God and I am not.

 Lord, please help me to have a godly heart that acts justly, loves mercy and walks humbly with You.

A Tea Time Thought

I have several beautiful teacups. Most of them were given to me as gifts from treasured friends. Each of those teacups and saucers are unique in design, color and size. I also have a set of teacups that is part of the china I chose almost 35 years ago now. That set is delicate and lovely and makes a stunning presentation on a table because of their uniformity.

But I absolutely love variety! There’s a wonderful tea house in Monument, Colorado, not far from my home. Whenever I’ve gone to the Wisdom Tea House, I get excited that I get to choose my own teacup. It’s also fun to see which cup another person might pick. Some will go for a soft and subtle pattern while others prefer bold colors. A person might feel that a large cup saves time and effort, and another thinks it’s proper to sip tea from a small cup. I find the assortment of options and the choices of each partaker to be telling and fascinating.

Catherine Douzel is quoted as saying, “Each cup of tea represents an imaginary voyage.” Look at the teacups below. Can you just imagine the adventure that each cup represents?

The charm and appeal of each teacup helps us to remember that God has designed every one of us with our own special attributes. I may not be my neighbor’s “cup of tea,” but I do offer a flavor all my own. And those around me will likely want a different cup than I do. It would serve me well to remember that they, too, have an essence that is distinctive to them.

We know that we are created in the image of God, to be a reflection of His glory. He knit us together in the womb and even knows the number of the hairs on our head. Thank you, Lord, for the array of splendor You have provided!

Countenance

“Hey, are you happy?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Then tell your face!”

Ouch!! Have you ever heard that not so subtle sort of rebuke? We all know folks we’d like to hold a mirror to and ask them why they’re so sour.

The infrequently used word, “countenance,” comes to my mind. What is the definition of countenance? It means, “the face or its expression.” The word is said to originate from turning away the face to express anger, displeasure and refusal; a practice this is still common. The opposite conduct would, of course, express favor. The grant of a petition is accompanied by a look directed to the petitioner, averting the refusal or denial.

Our countenance is an important reflection of our hearts. Proverbs 15:13 says, “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance;” and, like Jonathan in 1 Samuel 14:29, we can identify with his delight, “How my countenance has brightened because I tasted a little of this honey.”

On the other side of the spectrum is Cain when his offering was not acceptable to God in Genesis 4:5. There it reads, “And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell.”

Granted, no one can keep a smile on his face all the time. It’s just not possible. But, it’s too easy to use excuses to justify our down-turned moon face. Whether a small child, an adolescent, a young adult or an elderly person – we can choose to have a countenance that is a beautiful, full of joy and gratitude. Probably one of the keys to a glowing countenance (rather than fussy) is where our focus lies – on God and others or on ourselves. Too much self-involvement, without the breath of the Holy Spirit, comes through as down and discouraged. We have much about which to rejoice, let’s show others by the countenance we share with them!

There’s another Bible verse that talks about countenance. In Numbers 6:26, it proclaims, “The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.” Amen to that!!!

Marriage

Cake testing, bridal gowns, bridesmaids’ dresses, wedding venues – these are the plans that are underway for my son and his fiancée. In just six months, they will exchange their marriage vows.

This is another path along my empty nester’s journey. I can’t help but look back at my little tow-headed tike and recall his quiet and playful spirit. Look at him now! All grown up and starting his own family.

Thank God for the institution of marriage between a man and a woman. He established that union from the beginning, in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. God knew that it was good for man and woman to be helpmates to one another. Man was made for woman, and woman for man. Throughout the Word of God, we see the great value God places on marriage. How can we not also honor this God-designed provision?!

Sadly, the governor of the state in which I live, Colorado, signed legislation yesterday recognizing civil unions between same-sex individuals. This is not God’s design.

I am privileged to work alongside folks who, although certainly not the “popular” thing to do, will stand up for righteousness in our hurting culture. Our nation is reeling from apathy and poor choices. Is it a lack of knowledge, a selfish mentality of entitlement or a blatant disregard for godliness? God help us at Family Talk to have a voice that speaks truth in love.

The next few months will hold many plans, expectations and decisions for my son and his soon-to-be wife. I am praying for God’s wisdom, protection and care to infuse them as they approach their wedding day. Let’s ask the Lord to guide and bless all of our young adults who are contemplating marriage or moving into relationships.

A Mother's Prayer

I returned a few days ago from Nashville, Tennessee. I was there to attend the NRB (National Religious Broadcasters) Convention. I am thankful to have gone – I learned a great deal and met many, many people who are serving the Lord through radio, television, social media, etc.

One of the highlights of the trip was the worship service on Sunday morning where we gathered to sing together, pray, worship through the act of giving and to hear Pastor Tony Evans share a powerful message. Keith and Kristyn Getty and their band led us in music – oh, how marvelous to hear voices raised in unity to magnify the Lord, along with amazing strings, bagpipes and piano. What a great blessing that time was for me!

My heart was lifted up by several of the hymns the Gettys sang, which prompted me to take a look at the CD from which those songs came. And then I found another one that we didn’t sing Sunday morning, but I’ve listened to over and over since I returned home. It’s called “A Mother’s Prayer.” Here are just a couple of the verses to the song (I think you’ll see why I love its theme):

Before you close your eyes to sleep,
I have a promise still to keep.
As I hold you in my arms,
I pray your little frame grows strong
And that faith takes hope while you are young.
This is my prayer for you.

Hold my hand, I’ll teach you the way to go
Through the joys, through the years
The journey of these years.
May you trust Him till the end.
May you trust Him in the end.

. . .

You’ll travel where my arms won’t reach
As the road will rise and lead your feet
On a journey of your own.
May my mistakes not hinder you,
But His grace remain and guide you through.
This is my prayer for you.

Take His hand and go where He calls you to.
And whatever comes, seek Him
With all your heart.
This is my prayer for you.

Father, hear my ceaseless prayer,
Oh, keep her in your care.

So, even now my eyes are welling up with tears. Yes, all my children are “where my arms won’t reach.” But my intercessions for them are heard by the same Heavenly Father to whom they pray. Hallelujah!!!

I Am Honestly Befuddled

I am honestly befuddled. There are not many days that I sit down long enough to watch a newscast. Sure, I catch headlines and read about what’s going on in the world around me. But, I can hardly recognize this world anymore – at least not the world I was hoping it would be for my children.

The news stories of yesterday – just yesterday – made me want to cry ... a national economy spiraling downward, an outright endorsement of homosexual marriage by the President, a six year-old child whose parents promote that he is “transgender,” and on it goes!

The Bible tells us, “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! (Isaiah 5:20-21)” That is a stern warning from God Almighty! As believers, we are commanded to stand for righteousness. As a believing community, however, we have fallen asleep at the wheel. Our personal conveniences have overridden our commitment to morality and discernment.

I must call upon God’s grace and forgiveness for my ambivalence. Oh, how restoring is God’s Word. James 4 tells me, “But He gives more grace ... God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded ... Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

Lord God, where can I go but to You? You are life! You are light in a dark world. Show me, Father, how You would have me to be a vessel of Your truth. Open my eyes to discern good from evil and, with Your strength to stand and speak for what is right. You have redeemed me at great cost. My life is Yours. Use me to courageously proclaim Jesus and Him crucified.

Observations of a Mother-In-Law

One of the passages of empty nesting is becoming the infamous "mother-in-law."

My older son, Ryan, married Joanna eight and a half years ago. Joanna and I had to get to know each other -- to learn to trust, to appreciate each other's strengths and to be respectful. Joanna is wonderful. She complements Ryan beautifully, and she is an integral part of our family.

Our younger son, Austin, has recently proposed to his long-time girlfriend, Kim. They will marry in September. It's been such a delight to watch as they make plans for their future. I'm happy to build a relationship with the young lady my son loves.

The way I see it, being a mother-in-law is a grand opportunity to be an example of love, acceptance and care. Instead of dwelling on the emptiness of my nest, I can rejoice in our growing family.

Savor the moments!

As a young mother, I was often encouraged to enjoy the child-raising years. More often than not, my internal voice would say, "Don't you think I want to do that?! I'm trying ... But I'm just so tired. I can't keep up enough to reflect on the 'joys' of parenthood."

I now understand what those well-meaning friends wanted me to know. They were offering a nugget of wisdom -- one day, you'll miss the bustling activity of toddlers hanging on your ankles, the thousands of questions posed by an inquisitive five year old and the rigors of carpooling children to karate or ballet or piano lessons. These are the things memories are made of. Deposit them in your heart and mind. Someday, you're going to want to re-live those hectic days. Believe it or not, you will miss it!

Well, I do miss it. Gratefully, God has preserved many of those delightful (and challenging) mothering episodes in my memory bank. That has prompted me to keep a journal of some of those memories.

For example, I recall one day when the children were helping their dad with yard work. They were given the chore of pulling weeds in the terraced area of our backyard. All was quiet -- too quiet. In their 'diligence,' their weed pulling had resulted in pulling up all my beautiful irises. At the time, I was steamed! Looking back, I find it comical and that their actions didn't warrant the reaction I had. Thank you, Lord, for reminding me of the "iris incident." I love that I can have eyes to see that my children were trying to obey. They didn't pull up my flowers to hurt me. Quite the opposite -- they were wanting to please us.

God is teaching me through my walk down memory lane. How often have I tried to obey my Heavenly Father only to fall short? Yet, His response to me is forgiveness and compassion.

These memories and lessons from God comfort me when I'm missing the "good old days."

Something’s Got to Give!

Hello, friends. It’s been quite a while since I’ve written for my “At a Crossroads” blog. As you all know, life holds some surprises and roadblocks along the course, and you begin to feel that something has to give. Of course, when those surprises and roadblocks present themselves, there are also opportunities for learning and growth.

One of the themes that keeps cropping up is that dependence on God is critical for my daily living. When the load seems too heavy or the responsibility too great, God is my refuge. When I’m discouraged or worried, God provides peace. When my joy is lagging, God meets me where I am and shows me His goodness. Hmm, it all seems too simple . . .

The real issue here for me is that I get in the way. I think I can do whatever needs to be done in my own strength. How could I be so arrogant? How do I get past my own stubborn pride? I’m learning (relearning, actually) that coming to God in humble confession and releasing my ironclad grip on my destiny bring me to my knees. Oh, that I would remember the lesson that “when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10b)

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” (Isaiah 40:28-29)

The Pleasure of a Good Book

I was thinking today about some of the books I used to read to my children when they were young. You know, Goodnight Moon, Curious George, The Little Engine That Could, Clifford the Big Red Dog and so many others. How I loved sitting with all three of them around me, as they were eagerly awaiting the next page. We read these books over and over. My kids never seemed to tire of hearing the familiar stories. They knew them so well they would often beat me to the next line.

There was one book I could never make it through without getting a big lump in my throat. You know the one -- I'll Always Love You. And it's true! There is a bond between parent and child that is profound and deeply felt.

This made me realize that I am like my children, basking in the delight of a story that is beautifully written. When I spend time reading the words of God's story, I'm lifted to a place that is outside of myself. It's like immersing myself into a holy place - where the Lord shows me Who He is and what He desires for me. A relationship is forged, and I begin to want to live for His glory. Oh, the joy of reading the Book of Books!

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good." Psalm 34:8

How do you minister to the hurting?

I could use your help, please.

I have a precious friend who is facing a huge battle. Her daily routine has changed radically. She is in pain, and she feels abandoned by God. Some of her friends are also asking the question, “Where are you, God? Why is this happening?”

It seems we are helpless and clumsy in our efforts to help. Every person deals with such difficult situations in a different way – I recognize that. Some crave the presence of another person; others are more private and withdraw; still another might journal his or her thoughts and prayers; perhaps music is what ministers to the one who is hurting.

As my friends and I approach the 50s and 60s, I see more and more health challenges. Relationships and finances are other obstacles, but illness ranks among the greatest of the changes we encounter during this season of life.

How do you come alongside a friend or family member who is in such a fight? What have you learned from your experiences? Please share your insights or Scripture verses that have helped you.

I thank you.

Make A Difference

There are days when I pinch myself and say, “Am I really a part of this?!”

I think I’ve said before that I feel so honored to be a part of the ministry of Family Talk and to get to work with Dr. Dobson. Especially after my children left home, it has been an amazing blessing to have a job that is fulfilling and allows me to make a difference.

This week, I’m in Orlando, Florida, with Dr. and Mrs. Dobson. I feel like I’m watching history in the making. You may know that Dr. Dobson is updating his original film series that was taped in San Antonio in 1978. When Ryan, his son, moved into the parenting stage, he saw one of the films and found it to be relevant and helpful. And it was really good!!! So Ryan asked his dad where he and his friends could get a copy of the series. Well, those films were, of course, unavailable. That’s when Ryan encouraged his father to update the series so that the next generation of spouses and parents could benefit from the practical material in those films.

Thus began “Building a Family Legacy.” Most of the sessions were filmed at a church in San Diego last summer. While here in Florida, other pieces of the project are coming together. It’s been a remarkable time – inspiring messages and powerful re-enactments . . . I truly believe this new series will speak to families and help them provide godly homes and solid spiritual training – just like the first series did for over 80 million people in the late 70s and early 80s.

Check out the photos of some of the work that’s been done this week.

Your prayers for this project are much appreciated. Dr. Dobson and Family Talk continue to labor on behalf of the family, righteousness in the culture and the defense of life.

I’d love to hear from you about the open doors God has allowed you to walk through and how you’re making a difference in others’ lives as you’re “on mission” for Him.

Another Day, Another Faith Opportunity

My husband and I were attending a financial seminar the other evening (trying to learn how to prepare for our “golden years”), when I looked at my cell phone and found that I had missed a call from our daughter. You see, this is unusual because this daughter is living in Indonesia, teaching school at an international Christian school. We often schedule phone calls or Skype because there is a 13-hour time difference. So to receive a call at that time from her sent off an alarm to me. My cell phone doesn’t have international calling, so I couldn’t call her back.

A few moments later, I received a call from one of my sons. I thought, “Uh-oh! Something’s wrong.” I tried to catch his call but didn’t make it out of the meeting room in time. I immediately returned his call and found out that he had spoken with our daughter. Kristin was in excruciating pain and very sick. When she described her symptoms to Austin, he thought it sounded like she might be passing a kidney stone. (Believe it or not, he had passed his first kidney stone about three weeks earlier!) He gave her good advice and told her to head to the hospital to get some relief.

My heart sank to hear that she was hurting and that I couldn’t be there to help. I couldn’t even talk with her to offer comforting words. Then the panic set in. Will she be able to communicate with the medical personnel who probably don’t speak English? What about the cleanliness of the hospital? Is anybody with her to help? How will she get to the hospital? I don’t like that she is so very far away and I can’t do anything!!!!!

Bill and I stopped everything and sat in the car praying for God’s protection over Kristin and wisdom and compassion for anyone who would be caring for her. We asked Him to give her peace and relief from the horrible pain. We cried and we acknowledged that God loves and cares about her even more than we do and that she is in His hands. We called other family members and friends and petitioned their prayers on Kristin’s behalf. It was what we could do.

Have you ever felt helpless and inadequate to be the parent you want to be? How do you step beyond the need to intervene or feel that it’s up to you to “fix it” for your children?

God showed me (again) that night that I must “Cast all my cares upon Him, for He cares for me.” And I know without a doubt that He cares for my children, too. The lessons of faith continue, even when my kids don’t live under my roof. I’m thankful God is near during the learning process.

By the way, Kristin passed the stone and is recuperating well. Thank You, Lord!

Slammed

During the last several weeks, I joined/rejoined the club of the “slammed.” By that, I mean that I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, weary, inadequate and completely undone. There is much to be done at work, and I can’t seem to keep up. Then, I feel as though I’m not being the wife and mom I should be, and my friendships are being neglected – basically, it’s a snowball effect. Have you ever encountered this?

When I feel this way, my health suffers, too. I try to push through, but the result is irritability and misspoken words. Doesn’t Romans 7 have something to say about not doing the things I want to do and doing the things I don’t want?

Here I am at the end of another work week, and I’ve not made it through my list . . . I ask, “Lord, what do you expect of me? How can I ever do it all? Are you disappointed in me?”

In Micah 6:8, we are told, “He has showed you, Oh man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” My initial reaction to that verse is, (sarcastically), “Oh, is that all?” I really do desire to act justly, and many times I let walking humbly with God be overrun by my “accomplishment” of doing the right thing. Such arrogance! I don’t believe that is what God has in mind.

We read Ephesians 4 today in our staff devotions. One person very wisely said that the action steps of that chapter are often best digested as a step-by-step Christian growth process. The part about building others up according to their needs is in contrast to my shortness with people and my critical attitude. Coming to terms with that truth leads me to offer this prayer to my Heavenly Father.

I confess to you, Lord (and to you who are reading this blog entry), that I have not exhibited the heart and mind of Christ. This day, I thank You, Father, for Your forgiveness and patience with me. I will, with Your help, choose to share words that are edifying and not wounding. Help me, Lord, to show love and care and to seek Your face. Please give me the strength to do what I can with the tasks I have before me and the peace to leave the results in Your hands. I ask You, Father, to help bridle my tongue, to love mercy and to walk humbly with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Readers, thank you for allowing me to be transparent with you all. Perhaps God will use my struggle to minister to you.

Victory Over Anger

For years, I struggled with anger. My anger was often either internalized and then awaited an opportunity for an explosion, or I lashed out at others by way of nagging or harshness about things that had really little or nothing to do with them. I think because it was so “cleverly disguised” in my life (or so I deluded myself), I did not recognize or want to accept that anger was a problem in my everyday living.

I began to identify the extent of the anger in my heart after I became a mom. I had always envisioned myself as a warm, loving, gentle and kind mother. I thought that if I had children, I would be able to nurture them and model godly character to them. Whoa! I didn’t take long before I would find myself exploding over little, insignificant things. Then I would feel extremely guilty for overreacting. Something was not right. Things had to change – I couldn’t continue this way.

It was at this time that I “discovered” that the rage or anger in my spirit was the result of sin. Anger took on a whole new meaning to me. I imagine I had again fooled myself into believing that my anger was usually justified (righteous). Oh my – now pride was creeping into this equation . . . I guess I thought I knew what was best, and when others didn’t follow through with my best plan, I had a reason to be angry. Once again, I had a wrong view of God and a wrong view of myself. God alone is altogether righteous; He alone is the Sovereign of others and of me.

I sought counsel from a godly woman who was mentoring me. She took me to the Word. She directed me to Galatians 5, where Paul exhorts believers to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit-filled life. Well, I’d certainly heard about the fruit of the Spirit before – pie in the sky stuff, unattainable behavior. We looked at the context of the teaching on the fruit of the Spirit. In verses 16-21, Paul says, “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. The flesh sets it desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh . . . the deeds of the flesh are: . . . jealously, outbursts of anger . . . envying . . . those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Wow!! There is a battle going on – but I don’t have to fight this battle by myself.

Romans 6 and 7 are rich with truth about the battle and my opportunity to allow sin to reign or to let Christ reign. Romans 6:6 says, “knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Christ, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin.” In verses 11-13, we are told to “reckon ourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God. Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.” I have a choice. If I were not yet redeemed, I would not have a choice. Even all my good acts would not be done in the Spirit and would be worthless. But because I do have the indwelling Holy Spirit, I can either choose to let sin (anger, envy, etc.) rule my heart and mind, or I can choose to yield my spirit to the Spirit of God.

Coming to grips with this truth has changed my entire thinking. I recognized my attitude and my actions as fleshly. I was dealing with a sin issue, and what’s the first line of defense against sin in a believer’s life? Confession – I wanted to keep short accounts with God (first and foremost) and also with others. Secondly, I need to grab hold of the Scriptures – because the Word is sharper than a two-edged sword. Memorizing and meditating on God’s Word (especially those verses that addressed anger/sin in the life of a Christian) became crucial. You see, I had to replace the wrong thinking in my mind with right thinking. I had to learn to take every thought captive – I couldn’t continue to justify my deeds or to excuse my sin. I resolved to assume the best of others rather than to live in a constant state of disappointment.

In fact, I learned that discontent and unmet expectations contributed to my anger. Did I think I deserved better? Did I believe that I was letting others down and they were not meeting my standards either? I have had to stop and evaluate my heart and literally take time to ask (often aloud), “Who’s on the throne here – Becky or God?” I had to remember whose I am – I had been bought with a price.

I so wanted Christ to have the preeminent place in my life. I wanted to live yielded to the Spirit, and I wanted to exhibit spiritual fruit. So if I didn’t want to live with anger and jealousy, how did I want to live? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control . . . that’s what I wanted to be about! I chose three elements of this fruit (patience, kindness and self-control) that I believed would help me fight against anger, and I did word studies on those words from Scripture. What an eye-opener!

Anger certainly still rears its ugly head in my life, but I do not feel defeated or controlled by my anger. God has given me many tools to fight against this enemy – my flesh. Will I engage in the battle or just let sin neutralize me? I want to be a warrior and an ambassador for Christ – “I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless, I live. Yet not I, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me!”

My personal keys to dealing with anger are:

1. Recognize anger as sin
2. Confess that sin to God and to others – keep short accounts
3. Study what God’s Word says about anger
4. Memorize specific verses to help combat anger
5. Take every thought captive
6. Assume the best of others
7. Ask the question, “Who’s on the throne of my heart?”
8. Do word studies on the fruit of the Spirit
9. Be held accountable by another believer

If anger is a problem in your life, I hope my experience is of help to you. I’m always interested to hear how God is working in your life.

May the Lord bless you.

All For Jesus

Last night was an amazing evening! I had the privilege of accompanying Dr. and Mrs. Dobson to Houston for a gathering with Vision America. They were honored with the "Heroes of the Faith" award.

Although Dr. and Mrs. Dobson certainly do not consider themselves to be heroes, I can't tell you how many people, often with tears in their eyes, expressed their respect and gratitude for the ways God has allowed Dr. and Mrs. Dobson to impact their lives and their families!

The evening was filled with faith and patriotism -- from a powerful rendition of "How Great Thou Art" to a call from Dr. Dobson to "stay in the field." Dr. Dobson was introduced last night as "a national treasure," and that he is. He spoke about the sanctity of human life and defending righteousness in our culture. His passion and compassion for children shone through. I wish you could have been there!

I've worked for Dr. Dobson for over eight years, and I know him to be a lover of Jesus, a warrior for the family and a man of integrity. He is tender-hearted and has a wonderful sense of humor. But one thing I've seen from my first day on the job is that he is a man on a God-given mission. His fervor for God and courage to stand for godly values challenge me to make the most of my days.

There is a song called "All for Jesus" that captures this sense of mission. Here are the lyrics of this great song:

Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.
Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.

All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands.
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands.

For it's only in Your will that I am free,
For it's only in Your will that I am free,
Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.

You can also give it a listen here.

I hope you are moved to join those who want to live with complete abandon to our Saviour and the work He has for you in these days!

God bless you and fill you with His strength.

Is there a place for me?

Is there a place for me?

There’s a road out there – a winding path that goes in unexpected directions. As a young adult, I was pretty sure (in my youthful naivety and arrogance) that I knew where I was going over the next 30 years – I would graduate from college, meet the man of my dreams and marry him, have children, raise incredible kids . . . Those thirty years have come and gone. I hadn’t really considered what my “lot in life” would be after the raising of the children had passed.

It’s always been of great importance to me to live with purpose. I knew my purpose when I was mothering Ryan, Austin and Kristin. Have you ever asked, “What now?!” That question poked at me for a while. Could there be something else that I could do that would be meaningful and fulfilling?

Last week in our staff devos (we’re so blessed to have devotions together as a team everyday), I asked them, “Why are you here [at Family Talk]?” By the way, I work with an exceptional group of people. I love them and appreciate their dedication and hard work! But, even though I thought I knew these folks and probably had a good idea about why they came to work here, I was blown away with their responses to my question. Many talked about the circumstances that brought them to this organization – amazing accounts of divine intervention. Others shared their strong sense of calling to use their skills and passions for the mission of Family Talk. One precious young lady said that she knows a year later now that this is the one job God had for her! Wow!!! And the respect, love and gratitude for our president, Dr. Dobson, were expressed over and over again. It was a marvelous time for us to gather together and reaffirm that God has plans for us at Family Talk.

My dear friend, LuAnne Crane (VP of Broadcasting and Co-Host of the daily program), said that the truth of Ephesians 5:15-16 grips her – “Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” She stated that she can no longer be complacent but must live with intentionality, especially because her children are watching her. No more mediocrity for LuAnne! She is compelled to live by her convictions – overltly! – because her children need to see a mom whose daily calendar and priorities are completely determined by her Christian convictions and worldview. What a beautiful perspective and objective! LuAnne is thankful that her role at Family Talk gives her a forum in which to live out these truths.

I, too, know with certainty that God has a place for me at Family Talk. There are tasks that He has equipped me to do, lessons to learn, challenges to face and relationships to build. It is remarkable to me that the God of the universe has opened these opportunities to me and that I can make a difference for Him!! I cannot tell you how my heart overflows with a sense of significance and belonging. God’s goodness is beyond words! Another verse in Ephesians rings true to me: Ephesians 3:20-21 – “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen!”

Yes, I still have a purpose. You do, too.

Yes, my life can be fulfilling and meaningful. Yours can, too.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow, praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above, you heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

Blessed Quietness

A cup of Earl Grey tea and a porch swing. Every now and then, it's a grand thing to enjoy some of the simple pleasures of life.

I like what Mother Teresa said, “We need to find God, and He cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.” There is something very nourishing about quietness. In those moments (too rarely chosen), my entire demeanor can be lifted and refreshed with even a small dose of silence. And, just as Mother Teresa said, when I have tasted silence, that's when I can touch a soul.

Sometimes the sort of silence that can enrich or influence the life of another person is when I keep my mouth from sharing everything I think I know. Over the years, I've learned that it's not always necessary or profitable to offer my two cents. Yes, there are certainly occasions when I have worthwhile conversation points, but very often my greatest contribution is to listen -- to offer the gift of silence and by doing so to reinforce the value I place on another person.

Does the beauty of silence apply in the workplace? With my spouse? With my adult children? In friendships? When that crazy driver cuts me off? I believe it does!

Consider practicing this quietness -- this act of restraint -- and touch a soul!

Hair Products

It surely takes a lot of hair products to make me feel good about going out of my house every morning. There's the shampoo (wanna' make sure it not only cleans yesterday's products out of my hair, but also smells good). Then comes the conditioner. Now, this one gets me because the directions say, "Leave on 3 minutes." Doesn't that just seem like a long time for a "product" to make clean hair soft and manageable? I'm usually impatient about this step and actually have a hard time finding something to do in the shower while I'm waiting for the conditioner to do its magic. Well, after the shower comes the multi-step process of moussing and curl enhancing, not to mention the finishing spray. By this time and with all these products, you'd think I look like a wild woman. The goal, however, is just the opposite! Quite a daily operation, isn't it?!

You ask, what does this have to do with being a woman at a crossroads? I see several lessons for myself in my hair product adventure:

1. If I'm willing/compelled to spend such a significant amount of time on hair, why don't I make the time to improve my physical, relational and spiritual well-being? I could spend 20 minutes to read God's Word and be nourished in my soul. I could walk for 20 minutes to encourage my body. I could put down my iPhone and talk with my husband to build into our relationship. Oh, the benefits of getting some perspective about priorities!

2. Taking shortcuts, like prematurely rinsing out the conditioner in my hair, can cause a terrible, tangled mess. It really does make a difference when I give the "product" time to work. Likewise, when I step back, slow down and not rush or get ahead of God's plans for me, I see His hand preparing the way and directing my path (Proverbs 3:5-6).

3. One last lesson is that man may look on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. In this part of my life journey, am I keeping my heart pure and longing for Jesus? That's the beauty I want to shine forth -- the love and grace of Jesus in my life!

I'll probably still feel the daily weight of hair products on my head, but I'll also be reminded that God's Holy Spirit is who truly transforms me into a new and beautiful creation!