Hair Products

It surely takes a lot of hair products to make me feel good about going out of my house every morning. There's the shampoo (wanna' make sure it not only cleans yesterday's products out of my hair, but also smells good). Then comes the conditioner. Now, this one gets me because the directions say, "Leave on 3 minutes." Doesn't that just seem like a long time for a "product" to make clean hair soft and manageable? I'm usually impatient about this step and actually have a hard time finding something to do in the shower while I'm waiting for the conditioner to do its magic. Well, after the shower comes the multi-step process of moussing and curl enhancing, not to mention the finishing spray. By this time and with all these products, you'd think I look like a wild woman. The goal, however, is just the opposite! Quite a daily operation, isn't it?!

You ask, what does this have to do with being a woman at a crossroads? I see several lessons for myself in my hair product adventure:

1. If I'm willing/compelled to spend such a significant amount of time on hair, why don't I make the time to improve my physical, relational and spiritual well-being? I could spend 20 minutes to read God's Word and be nourished in my soul. I could walk for 20 minutes to encourage my body. I could put down my iPhone and talk with my husband to build into our relationship. Oh, the benefits of getting some perspective about priorities!

2. Taking shortcuts, like prematurely rinsing out the conditioner in my hair, can cause a terrible, tangled mess. It really does make a difference when I give the "product" time to work. Likewise, when I step back, slow down and not rush or get ahead of God's plans for me, I see His hand preparing the way and directing my path (Proverbs 3:5-6).

3. One last lesson is that man may look on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. In this part of my life journey, am I keeping my heart pure and longing for Jesus? That's the beauty I want to shine forth -- the love and grace of Jesus in my life!

I'll probably still feel the daily weight of hair products on my head, but I'll also be reminded that God's Holy Spirit is who truly transforms me into a new and beautiful creation!

Expectation and Expectancy

The other night at our small group gathering, we talked about practicing the presence of God. Part of that discussion was about the contrast between expectation and expectancy.

Let me tell you, I have lived with expectation my entire life. I’ve had expectations of my husband and my children that are impossible for them to meet. And that leads to frustration on their part and disappointment (if not anger) on mine. That certainly wasn’t where I wanted to land or what I wanted to convey to those I cherish and love.

Expectations are a funny business. The word is defined as, “A confident belief or strong hope that a particular event will happen; a mental image of something expected; a standard of conduct or performance expected by or of somebody.” Expecting that someone will act in a certain way.

I have set myself up to be disillusioned with my husband because I have required something from him that is not for me to demand. For example, I was recently promoted in my job. A congratulatory/I’m proud of you bouquet of flowers would have been wonderful! It didn’t happen. Is Billy happy for me and proud of my accomplishments? Yes, he is, yet he didn’t come through on my specific expectation. The place where I can live that doesn’t burst everyone’s balloon is in expectancy.

What we learned last night was that expectancy is anticipating that God (or someone) will act. I’m just not putting the demand that it be a certain word or action. In that way, I can have joy in seeing what unfolds. Expectancy takes the tension out of the equation.

So, when I think about my husband or my children and put my expectations on them, I’m actually burdening all of us. I think I’d rather walk with expectancy in what will transpire and the ways God will teach me through it all.

What are your thoughts?

Let’s be friends,
Becky

Hooray for the Moments!

Thanks to those of you who read my first two blog posts. I wanted to give you some history and context for what contributes to my thought processes and the road on which I continue to travel.

This has been a mixed up kind of week for me. Anticipating Kristin’s departure back to Indonesia has been in my head for a long time – even to the point of not cherishing the moment. Will I ever learn?! We went to a minor league baseball game last Friday night – it was a great time – we won and there were incredible fireworks after the game. As I sat there beside Kristin, I was struck by her joy and peace. Contentment simply oozes out of her (and is contagion to those around her). Even yesterday when we hugged and said our goodbyes, she was so strong and eager to get back to the children she teaches and the community she loves so much there in Bandung. I will miss her like crazy!!! But I know she’s in God’s hands and is where He will use her for His glory.

The house seems so quiet again, except that we’re taking care of one of the “grand-dogs” for a few days while Ryan and Joanna are out town. We got to see our other “grand-dog” a few days ago when Austin and Kim came for dinner and a rousing game of bridge. I guess these kids need us, just in different ways than when they were young. Ryan told me on the phone last night, “You’ll always be my parents, and I’m really glad you’re there for us.” I’ll take it!

I am a blessed woman – and as I noted earlier, I need to treasure the moments I’m given with my adult children.