Slammed

During the last several weeks, I joined/rejoined the club of the “slammed.” By that, I mean that I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, weary, inadequate and completely undone. There is much to be done at work, and I can’t seem to keep up. Then, I feel as though I’m not being the wife and mom I should be, and my friendships are being neglected – basically, it’s a snowball effect. Have you ever encountered this?

When I feel this way, my health suffers, too. I try to push through, but the result is irritability and misspoken words. Doesn’t Romans 7 have something to say about not doing the things I want to do and doing the things I don’t want?

Here I am at the end of another work week, and I’ve not made it through my list . . . I ask, “Lord, what do you expect of me? How can I ever do it all? Are you disappointed in me?”

In Micah 6:8, we are told, “He has showed you, Oh man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” My initial reaction to that verse is, (sarcastically), “Oh, is that all?” I really do desire to act justly, and many times I let walking humbly with God be overrun by my “accomplishment” of doing the right thing. Such arrogance! I don’t believe that is what God has in mind.

We read Ephesians 4 today in our staff devotions. One person very wisely said that the action steps of that chapter are often best digested as a step-by-step Christian growth process. The part about building others up according to their needs is in contrast to my shortness with people and my critical attitude. Coming to terms with that truth leads me to offer this prayer to my Heavenly Father.

I confess to you, Lord (and to you who are reading this blog entry), that I have not exhibited the heart and mind of Christ. This day, I thank You, Father, for Your forgiveness and patience with me. I will, with Your help, choose to share words that are edifying and not wounding. Help me, Lord, to show love and care and to seek Your face. Please give me the strength to do what I can with the tasks I have before me and the peace to leave the results in Your hands. I ask You, Father, to help bridle my tongue, to love mercy and to walk humbly with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Readers, thank you for allowing me to be transparent with you all. Perhaps God will use my struggle to minister to you.