Expectation and Expectancy

The other night at our small group gathering, we talked about practicing the presence of God. Part of that discussion was about the contrast between expectation and expectancy.

Let me tell you, I have lived with expectation my entire life. I’ve had expectations of my husband and my children that are impossible for them to meet. And that leads to frustration on their part and disappointment (if not anger) on mine. That certainly wasn’t where I wanted to land or what I wanted to convey to those I cherish and love.

Expectations are a funny business. The word is defined as, “A confident belief or strong hope that a particular event will happen; a mental image of something expected; a standard of conduct or performance expected by or of somebody.” Expecting that someone will act in a certain way.

I have set myself up to be disillusioned with my husband because I have required something from him that is not for me to demand. For example, I was recently promoted in my job. A congratulatory/I’m proud of you bouquet of flowers would have been wonderful! It didn’t happen. Is Billy happy for me and proud of my accomplishments? Yes, he is, yet he didn’t come through on my specific expectation. The place where I can live that doesn’t burst everyone’s balloon is in expectancy.

What we learned last night was that expectancy is anticipating that God (or someone) will act. I’m just not putting the demand that it be a certain word or action. In that way, I can have joy in seeing what unfolds. Expectancy takes the tension out of the equation.

So, when I think about my husband or my children and put my expectations on them, I’m actually burdening all of us. I think I’d rather walk with expectancy in what will transpire and the ways God will teach me through it all.

What are your thoughts?

Let’s be friends,
Becky